Gods Rehab~: It's my silly life~

MY TRUTH...

I am a daughter, sister, wife and mother. When I was young, I dreamed of becoming a dancer. I was passionate, loving and full of life. But you would never believe that I was also a broken -down, self-loathing destructive girl. I hated God and the world. I did drugs, drank and had a baby at 18. You ask how you can be born with so much purpose, then become so much less? Well I’ll tell you... I was molested by my father! This one man changed me forever. Not just my body, but my mind and soul. I have never looked at the world the same since his sexual abuse; rather I've walked in this world just wondering… where do I belong? I tried to move on but the chaos of my mind couldn't understand my heart. I would cry for no reason…. love the wrong men … hated and blamed the wrong people. I was a walking mess... I was the walking dead!

Now how do you exist after becoming the walking dead? Many abused individuals, these walking dead as I was, go through life like zombies… searching for food, while actually, their souls are agonizing for love and peace. For many of us, it’s not so much that our bodies are decaying… but our souls. In our walking- dead reality, we engage in all the sins of the world, all the while looking for a glance of love or a glimmer of hope that one day we will be normal… and that we’ll be Alive! I’m not proud of what I was, nor do I like anything about it. But the devil is a liar… he tells you do not matter. Furthermore, the world doesn’t care if you are in pain, so why not drink and do drugs to help forget. And as you listen to the devil telling you he’s the one, you find yourself doing what you must to keep him. You actually come to believe, he’s what you deserve. That was me! I’d done about every sin and felt not worthy of God’s grace; still, a small part of me had faith. Looking back, I with all my heart that’s what kept me alive.

Today, I’m Alive and not in the ground because God has renewed my body, but more importantly, He renewed my soul. My life is not over, yet sometimes I wish I was for the memories can be rough. Even though I’m now renewed, ’I've lost a lot through the years. Many people who are lonely, we feel we’re the only ones feeling this way. My own shame took me away from showing love and compassion to others. That’s why we have to be aware of this crisis of abuse... If we don’t break this cycle of abuse now, how can we build strong women to choose strong men to have strong children? Let’s stop walking in this living grave yard… and stop letting the devil have our children … Shannon

ARE YOU WORN?

I’m Tired I’m worn My heart is heavy From the work it takes to keep on breathing I’ve made mistakes I’ve let my hope fail My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world And I know that you can give me rest So I cry out with all that I have left Let me see redemption win Let me know the struggle ends That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life And all that’s dead inside can be reborn Cause I’m worn I know I need to lift my eyes up But im too weak Life just won’t let up And I know that you can give me rest So I cry out with all that I have left Let me see redemption win Let me know the struggle ends That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life And all that’s dead inside can be reborn Cause I’m worn My prayers are wearing thin And I’m worn Even before the day begins I’m worn I’ve lost my will to fight I’m worn Heaven come and flood my eyes Let me see redemption win Let me know the struggle ends That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life And all that’s dead inside can be reborn Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn Though I’m worn

My Mission...

I am a renewed person by the grace of God, and as such, I want every survivor of abuse to know one thing... you don't have to go down the same road I did. I've made it through the other side of the evil and darkness... and so can you. Just know that where there is hope, there is faith... and where there is faith, there is God. Realize that your being abused in not your shame, you too can be renewed by the grace of God... you too are more than your past.

Shannon Harrison

Monday, May 19, 2014

It's my silly life~

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